At Idyllwild Event Design, we celebrate the timeless allure of an “Old Money” wedding aesthetic. Our approach blends understated elegance and relaxed luxury, ensuring your celebration telegraphs sophistication without being stuffy. While Old Money style undoubtedly conveys affluence, we prefer to focus on the elements of refined taste and leisurely lifestyle rather than exclusivity.

I won’t lie, this is a tricky topic for me. I’ve always loved that old money look and feel, but I’m often repelled by the ideals it engenders. I recently read this article regarding the “clean girl aesthetic”- after I’d already drafted this post, actually- and I really resonated with what it had to say. Rest assured, if you resonate with the old money aesthetic, you needn’t sacrifice your values. This aesthetic actually follows a pretty simple formula; something anyone can use: Less is more.

One of the best things about steady liquidity is the freedom to think less about how wealthy you appear, so this style is as much about freedom from restraint as it is about keeping up appearances. With that in mind, my three go-to style words for old money wedding vibes are as follows: timeless, effortless, tailored. Yup, that’s it. Keep those notions in mind and you can’t go wrong.

Exercise Restraint with Wedding Trends

Less is more with an old money wedding theme. Curb your enthusiasm for trends and think about which motifs have endured through the ages. If you just can’t stop looking and liking, brain dump onto a Pinterest board and curate it later. Over time, the winning ideas will emerge.

A solid example is the bow wedding trend. Who doesn’t love this? And after a long hiatus, bows are everywhere. From bow stacking on floral arrangements, to candles, to bridesmaids, bows are a wedding classic that will always resurface. The key is to choose where each element can have its own moment, so easy does it.

Below, I share a striking visual comparison between a sleek, modern bridal gown and an elegant, tiered wedding cake. The gown showcases a sophisticated, sculptural bow detail at the waist, cascading into a flowing train. The cake mimics the dress, its smooth tiers adorned with a delicate, oversized bow. Both elements exude a sense of modern elegance, clean lines, and sculptural beauty, reflecting a harmonious wedding aesthetic.

With an old money wedding, curation reigns supreme. Opting for enduring motifs that echo throughout the celebration will help your event stand the test of time.

Color, Texture, and Aesthetic

Palette

Monochromatic palettes, like the pale neutrals I’ve used in this post, look chic when shown in a variety of finishes. Think sandy beaches, linen shirts, wooden boats, and windswept sails. I’ve added a minty vintage blue as a nod to the sea.

Buttoned up brands like Ralph Lauren, Brooks Brothers, and Lacoste, as well as feminine classics like Martha Stewart, Lily Pulitzer, and Laura Ashley each have a distinctive- but no less opulent- color story.

If ivory palettes are too “Millennial Sad Beige” for you, look into some of these aesthetics and their associated color palettes: “estate”, “coastal”, “equestrian”, and “ivy league”. These tend to be either pale and leisurely for warmer seasons, or deep and sporting for cooler times. I’ve pulled together some Old Money wedding palettes to inspire you. Happy pinning, and you’re welcome!

Inspiration

Fine Art, as shown in this stately interior, will translate beautifully to table settings, as will judicious use of pattern in all your textiles, china, and paper goods.

Aesthetic

Repetition is a wonderful tool for disguising a modest budget by providing visual impact. Row upon row of julep cups with peonies or hydrangeas, monochromatic taper candles, layered plates atop gold-rimmed chargers, and thick linens in a soft floral print all say, “Isn’t this just darling?”

Luxurious Invites and Paper Goods

Your invitation suite sets the tone for your Old Money affair. Choose high quality paper in tasteful tones, complemented by timeless fonts that exude sophistication. Consider monograms for a subtle touch of luxury.

You need to let guests know this sh*t is going to be fancy, without trying too hard. In fact, “don’t try too hard” is the proper energy for this entire wedding style. And that vibe is set forth by your invitation suite. A gorgeous custom or semi-custom suite like this is ideal, but if you can’t go all-in, consider some of the following upgrades:

Typset, Paper Stock, and Decorative Elements

Go for thick, matte paper stock in soft neutral shades or deep masculine tones. Letterpress details whisper that you have discerning taste. And while it may be counterintuitive, foil press can be a bit much. Go for an embossed monogram or crest instead.

Fonts

It may be tempting to opt for swirly script, but that can look dated if it isn’t executed just right. You want classic, but not “founding father”. Take some time to look at font branding that speaks to you. (Are you a Burberry or Brooks Brother?)

Generally you’ll find that the chicer fonts are- you guessed it- pretty tailored. That usually means pairing bold and thin lines together with few serifs or swashes. If you’re thinking, “WTF are serifs and swashes?” See here.

Now, you may find a lovely font pairing to be charming. I know I do! In this case, you can keep it modern by adding a medium weight, handwritten script (that’s actually legible), and pairing it with a slender bold display font like this:

Layered Luxury

Envelope Liners, Wraps, and Other Paper Goods: Choose vellum in spring and consider opulent fabrics like velvet in winter. Gently whimsical embellishments (seals, ribbon, tassels, pressed flowers) are so beautiful, but as with everything in this style, you need to curate your choices. Just. pick. one.

Enclosures

Everyone loves a nice thick envelope full of goodies. So, in addition to the usual enclosures, here’s a fun and sophisticated addition: Add an attire card with your palette on it. Guests always appreciate guidance and they want to make you happy, so feel free to let them know what to do!

Avoid flash-in-the-pan trends. No QR codes, no Save-the-Date fridge magnets, and if you’re offering online RSVPs, invest in traditional response cards as well.

Historic Hudson Valley Venues with Old Money Appeal

I should write a whole post on just this subject, because nothing says “old money wedding” like a riverside mansion in the Hudson Valley. New York is home to some… notable surnames, and the many historic Hudson Valley venues offer the perfect backdrop for an old money wedding. So even if you don’t brunch with Rockefellers, you can still find opulence right outside your door.

Mad For Mansions

Capture the essence of Old Money charm at historic Hudson Valley mansions like Vanderbilt and Boscobel House. These venues offer timeless grandeur, Old World influences, and picturesque settings for a wedding steeped in elegance.

While there are great photo ops at many of the Hudson Valley’s historic mansions, most of them will not allow you to host your reception inside, onsite, or even allow your guests to sit during your ceremony. But here are some that will allow a tent on the property. If that’s your vibe, check out Rokeby Estate, Southwood Estate, Clermont Historic Site, and the Ogden Mills Mansion at Staatsburg Historic Site.

Some HV mansions have a beautiful museum, formal gardens, or event facilities adjacent to the historic home, allowing you to grab some arty photos in their portico or orangerie before enjoying a lovely dinner in a clean, modern dining area. My current faves of this type are Boscobel House and Gardens, Locust Grove Estate, and intimate Windrift Hall, which actually has lodging on-site.

If you’re looking for a venue that checks off some other planning tasks for you (such as in-house catering), consider Glenmere Mansion, Mountainville Manor, The Briarcliff Manor, and Monteverde at Old Stone. For those willing to venture into the foothills of the Catskill mountains, a new venue- aptly named L’Orangerie– has just opened in Green County. It’s giving, “We usually summer in France, but we decided to bring France to the mountains for the wedding.”

Timeless Attire and Accessories

That brings us to what to wear. When it comes to attire, Old Money wedding style calls for ruthless editing. Opt for classic elegance with tailored gowns and accessories. Whether it’s a sleek updo or subtle jewelry, each detail should reflect refined taste and effortless grace. Let’s start from the top with makeup and accessories.

No-makeup Makeup

Channel your inner Beyonce and embrace your naked perfection, because you absolutely “woke up like this”. Believe that you are beautiful the way God made you. You must know to your core that you are entitled to admiration, regardless of what others believe, because you admire and believe in yourself.

That’s not to say that you can’t wear makeup. Everyone knows that no-makeup makeup is the hardest look to achieve. But a scrubbed-clean makeup look with a demure blush is right on point for the old money wedding vibe. Two Makeup artists who excel in this style are Ashley at Alessaro Beauty and at Karen at Eye of Luna.

It should look like you have weekly facials and are therefore above makeup. (Joking, but also not.) Think like Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy and ask your makeup artist to use a neutral palette with a well-moisturized, slightly dewey feel.

The exception to this is either eyeliner or lipstick. (You saw that I said one or the other, right?) A razor-thin liquid liner extending beyond the upper lash line and some super natural lash extensions give glorious Hepburn vibes when executed well. And leave those brows alone! Let them liiiive!

Effortless Hair

Here again, effortlessness is key, regardless of your hair texture. Glam waves can be beautiful if you keep the makeup simple, but a classic chignon epitomizes old money vibes.

Keep hair in place with invisible or very petite hair accessories (such as pearl pins), or opt for one statement hair accessory like a tailored headband or decorative comb, which looks chic with everything from afros to pixie cuts. If you wear protective styles, consider a sisterlock updo or asking your braidist for side-parted cornrows with a bun or braided pony.

There is a time for maximalism, but this is not that time, so save whimsical flowers and flowing tresses for the rehearsal dinner or brunch.

Accessorize Gently

Pearls are the most tailored, classic, and quietly sophisticated accessory option I can imagine. They also align with a wide range of styles and environments, from Tuscan-style winery weddings to coastal mermaid weddings in Maine.

For a softer, garden-style look, opt for a statement earring with texture and smaller pearl or crystal accents from brands like Twigs and Honey.

Please don’t feel like you have to wear every possible kind of accessory just because “you only get married once”. It’s not your last chance ever to get dressed up. It’s just the beginning of a lifetime of lovely parties, so choose a statement earring or a lovely single strand at the throat.

This is also your permission slip from me, the flower lady, to take it easy on the bridal bouquet. Whether roses, calla lilies, or fluffy peonies, a single variety en masse is absolutely stunning.

Curate your Couture

Look for beautifully made garments. Above all else, is the gown’s construction effortlessly flattering? Does the fabric’s drape and movement feel luxurious, regardless of the weight? Is the garment properly lined? If there isn’t budget for tailoring, can you invest in some quality foundation garments? (For example, I adore Honeylove shapewear and no, they’re not paying me to say that.)

Leave something to the imagination

I cannot say this enough: Choose boobs, legs, back, butt, or midriff, but not all of them at once. Gowns that are serving body are undoubtedly fabulous, but they don’t match the old money wedding aesthetic. Be a Jackie at the wedding and bust out Marilyn for the after party!

“But Jasmin, ” I hear you say, “Just look at me! This body cannot be tamed!” I understand, but you should know that this is evident no matter what you’re wearing. The confidence- if it’s truly there- is in the eyes and posture, they way you move, and your demeanor.

Still can’t put down the ballroom dance costumes? Consider a wedding aesthetic that’s less stuffy. There are unlimited options when it comes to your wedding look, and the job of an event designer is to help you narrow your focus and manage the overwhelming options. So I’m going to be firm on this: edit edit edit.

Elegance is a State of Mind

While commissioning a custom wedding gown is a phenomenal experience, it’s possible to achieve a similar look and feel with semi-custom or off-the rack options. But you don’t know what you don’t know, so educate yourself. It’s free to look at pictures, so research gown silhouettes and sleeve types. (Idyllwild has resources regarding this, so if you’ve booked with us, just ask!) Let your bridal stylist surprise you and stay open-minded.

Align your attire with your venue, and don’t purchase your gown until you have a venue booked. Gown length and style are big considerations. If your wedding will have significant outdoor activity, please don’t wear something in which you cannot move. There’s nothing graceful or effortless about waddling around your wedding like some kind of bridal mummy!

Similarly, if your venue has ornate detailing, don’t feel obligated to compete with it. It’s easy to have too much of a good thing: beading plus crystals plus lace plus tulle plus bows plus buttons is beyond overboard. Curation is key. Remember we’re going for “tailored and timeless”.

Conclusion and Further Inspiration

I hope you’ve enjoyed this rundown of opulent “Old Money” details channeling Blair Waldorf, et al. I could go on and on about this style. There’s so much to share, and researching this article was great fun! But in the spirit of curation, I’ve decided to choose a few key areas on which to focus. And if you’d like to gather some lifestyle inspiration, I’ve linked a Pinterest Board below.

I invite you to embrace the allure of Old Money elegance for your wedding day with timeless designs and curated details that speak of refined taste. And remember, it isn’t about access, it’s about observation! Idyllwild is here to help you create a celebration that epitomizes luxury without excess, ensuring every detail is a testament to your impeccable style.

Ready to design your elegant, timeless Hudson Valley wedding? We’ve been waiting for you. Contact Idyllwild Event Design to bring your old money wedding vision to life.